in a world where dragon roam
above a cliff of water foam
they are the lords of fire
my hearts one true desire
they fly though valleys far and wide
to there great city in the sky
in a world where dragon roam above a cliff of water foam they are the lords of fire my hearts one true desire they fly though valleys far and wide to there great city in the sky |

|
|
Comments
--
---------
I aim to fReAk!!!
A cabbage moves rhythmically
Changes I would make:
line one: dragons, instead of dragon
line five: through, instead of though (through is to fly through, go through - I think this was just a typo)
line six: their, instead of there (their is possessive, belonging to them)
You don't have to use this. The correction for line one just makes it sound better to me, and is only a personal opinion. Especially since you say "lords of fire" as in there are more than one.
As for lines five and six - you had the right idea, just the wrong words.
Hope this helps.
--
"Success is never final, and failure is never fatal; it's courage that counts." -- Unknown
Hope sees the invisible, achieves the impossible. If you look up, there are no limits. - ?
Previous PageNext Page